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FEATURES
After an Affair
BY CLAIR JANCHOTE
“If twelve months ago, you had asked
Tina, a 36 year old full time mother, if she thought it were possible to be happy
again after her husband’s affair, she would have definitely said, “No!” Her
response was that she, “…just couldn’t believe Mark could
do this to us.”
Tina and Mark’s marriage managed to survive his affair, yet it seems that
many marriages do crumble under the strain of one partners’ infidelity.
So what made the difference in Tina and Mark’s case?
Cheating is often about more than just sex — infidelity can also be a form
of communication. As Tina points out, “When I really sat down and thought
about it, I realized that Mark’s affair was his way of telling me that
our relationship was no longer working for him.”
That is not to say that Mark didn’t have to take responsibility for the
affair. He was the one who stepped outside of his marriage and devastated his
family with his choices. However, Tina was able to see that she had not been
giving her all to the relationship either (this in no way excuses his behavior
or absolves him from taking ownership of his actions).
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