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HUMOR
MILL
A Brief Guide to
Surviving Parenthood
BY BETH MCHUGH
Sex…it’s great, isn’t
it? But, like every other good thing in life, it does have a downside. In this
case, it’s babies. Yes…that’s right folks, modern science
has proven that there is a direct link. One little mistake and you can kiss goodbye
the next twenty years. In some states you can get less for murder, but please…try
not to think of that option when Junior keeps whining from the back seat, “Are
we there yet?”
Don’t get me wrong, you will have the occasional bright moments with your
children (especially before they grasp the concept of money), and I’m not,
for one moment, advocating a child-free society—after all, who else will
look after us in our old age? But it has to be acknowledged that childrearing
can put some serious dents in your financial and mental wellbeing. Here are some
tips for a smoother ride down the mean streets of motherhood:
The Early Years
Ask yourself this question: What do you remember from your life before the age
of four? Chances are you’ll just have a few vague memories of your favorite
teddy bear and the earthy taste of a live garden snail. Forget about baby gyms,
hot-housing your newborn with flashcards and involving your three-year-old in
weighty discussions about tensions in the Middle East. Use these years to save
your energy for the testing times to come.
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